February 2, 2012

A Shopping Trip and a Laugh

Made a trip with my sweet sister to Costco yesterday morning, Costco is a wholesale membership warehouse. While driving to the store, my sister pulled out an email that she received the other day, and began to read me this cute story. I laughed out loud.

Yesterday I was at my local Costco buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Chevy, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.

What did she think I had an elephant? So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVS in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way it works is, to load your pant pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.)

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me.  I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's ass and a car hit me. 

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard.

Costco won't let me shop there anymore. 

MORAL OF THE STORY: Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.


  1. Oh, that was a real good laugh, needed that!

    And the moral, how right!

    Thank you for sharing.

  2. Good one. I laughed a bit myself.

  3. Oh my goodness you had me laughing too! I hope no one took you seriously and decided to try the new purina diet. LOL LOL LOL


  4. Too funny! I have been in the grocery store and was stocking up by buying 14 of the same item. The clerk asked "Is this any good?" I answered "No, it's not good. I'm buying it all so nobody else has to eat it."